Achievement Unlocked!

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m not a typical gamer. A lot of the most popular games ever created just don’t interest me very much. I bought Oblivion and returned it the next day, because I got too bored too quickly with it. Fallout 3 fared a little better, but it’s still sitting on my shelf and I’ve barely played a few hours of it. Still haven’t beaten Half Life 2 (though I’m working my way through it, I swear!) And don’t get me started on WoW. I try that game again every few months, and at some point I get bored and logout. But recently, I’ve learned what it is I play games for: achievements.

I love and hate achievements. They’re evil little tools to squeeze extra replay value out of a game, but that arbitrary number that is my Gamerscore has become this ridiculous thing in my head. I NEED 20 more points! I need that one last achievement! When Beatles: Rock Band came out (best music game ever, for the record), I started playing, and refused to stop until I finished it because of the damn “beat the game in 24 hours” achievement. I would’ve gotten at least 2-3 more hours of sleep that night if that stupid achievement wasn’t there. But noooooo. I needed to prove to the world that I was enough of a loser to stay up all night and defeat a game in 24 hours.

Achievements are important for our ADD generation, I’ve decided. I can’t play a game and see that I’m 30% through and push forward. What I want is a small reward for playing another 2% of the game. Most single player games are good at that these days. Bioshock, Modern Warfare, Fallout 3, are a few obvious examples. Get a reward for beating the next level, for beating the next boss, etc. I bet I’d have a level 80 character in WoW right now if there were more achievements to earn while leveling. All I have are the every-10-level achievements to look forward to, and that’s definitely not close enough to keep me going. Doing all the instances as I level is good, because I get achievements for them, but there’s really no sense of major accomplishment until you actually choose an achievement and work towards it. I don’t want that. I want to play the game the way I want to play it, and get rewarded every 5 minutes for it.

I know I’m being demanding, and I know I’m being childish and stupid. But it’s just the kind of gamer I am, for some reason. Achievements have ruined my ability to enjoy a game for its story. I’ve been having trouble recently picking up Wii games again, because I feel like I won’t be able to show off my accomplishments to anyone. I love Okami so much, and I still need to finish it, but my stupid brain won’t allow me to boot it up because there are no points to be gained. How ridiculous is that?!

Champions has perks in it. Awesome. I wouldn’t even be able to play my own damn game if it didn’t have those small perks to keep me going. I hate what this world has done to me.

Oh, and yeah. I’m back. I like talking out loud, what can I say?