The Birthday/Friendship System

Over the past few years, I’ve refined a system that had been subconsciously formulating in my head. Here it is: Your closeness with a friend is directly proportional to the method by which they communicate “Happy Birthday” to you once a year. Seeing as today is the one day a year I put this system into motion, I thought I’d share it with the general community.

This system divides your friends into three categories:

1. Those who call you on your birthday.

2. Those who text you on your birthday.

3. Those who Facebook you on your birthday.

The first category is easy: These are your close friends. These are the ones who take time out of their day to have a conversation with you.

The second category is for those who are close enough to you that they’re willing to have a synchronous conversation with you, but not so close that they actually want to have verbal communication.

And the final one are the people who like knowing that they’re a good person, enjoy saying that they keep in touch with you, but aren’t really super close. The acquaintances.

I may judge people based on the system, but mostly it’s just always interesting to see if your perception of the relationship you have with a friend is the same as theirs. Sure, I’d call this person on their birthday, but I’m curious if they’d do the same for me. Over the past few years, I’ve never actually been extremely surprised by where someone falls within the rankings, but it’s always fun to guess if anyone’s moved up or down since the previous year.

Oh, and there’s also a fourth category, aka The Insane People Who Think They Are/Want To Be Your Best Friend. This system does indeed include your actual best friends, but it also includes people who consider themselves to be much closer to you than you actually are. These are the people who A) Write really insanely long/thought out posts on your Facebook wall and B) Call you and C) Sing to you and D) Continue to do so throughout the day.

I freely admit I fall under that category for a few people. People who I am not close with.


4 Responses

  1. Don’t forget the 0th category: “Got you a present”.

  2. it’s funny because before i called you i thought to myself ohh man dave totally thinks about how he is contacted on his birthday. you are soooooo you. (:

  3. This entry is full of truth. Adopting this system for future dialogues on this subject. Credit will be given.

  4. What if you had a friend that did all three? I do that..I will call, text and leave a facebook bday message! Fanatical perhaps? Maybe. ><

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